Sunday, December 27, 2009
it was then that i realized, i have the coolest friends. i mean here i was, crashing this movie production meeting because she let me tag along. sure, it was just an indie film, and yeah it was a short and so what if stop motion production isn't my favorite genre - this little indie stop motion short was gonna be in twenty-five festivals, including cannes! and here i was...
had i drifted off.. wait a minute, what were they saying? they were gonna do what... light that cute little kitten on fire!?! i should have seen this coming - i mean, the name of the film is after all, "ticket to hell".
it is at times like this that i am reassured in the knowledge that i live my life by divine appointment, because if not, i may be somewhat concerned about our new little project here that was turning innocent little felines into flaming infernos...even so i was feeling as if i should retrace the steps in my mind that had brought us to this place and ask myself some necessary questions...
why had i impulsively signed us up to go to a show biz expo in l.a. without even asking her if she wanted to go... why had she insisted at the last minute that we actually go... why had i registered her as a painter... why had she run after that young director and complimented her when she had never even seen her work... and yes it was odd that the only production person this particular director needed on her next project was a faux finisher; a painter.
this was divine appointment. so why was i questioning? i obviously needed to go over this some more in my mind...
it was friday, as i sat putting on my make-up and willing the day to be productive i distinctly heard "you are going to l.a." and so i waited...
monday morning, 7:30 a.m. the phone rang "she sent me an email, wants to have a production meeting this week, what day is good?"
wednesday morning we were on our way to l.a.
there was the ride up - well, let's just say i am always amazed at my friend's patience levels - because it was this particular day, this particular car ride that i conjured up my latest theory:
'one answer, if known, would expose secrets of global proportions'.
now what the question is, i will not divulge, nor as of yet do i know the whole answer... but i would like to point out that i am generally not given to conspiracy theories, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, this particular day they were taking center stage in my mind, even compelling me as it were.
with that particular day behind me, i am still feeling compelled, and what's more i have had time; time to think, time to ponder, time to do more research, if you will, on the global answer i seek... and now more than ever i am thoroughly convinced that there really is one question and quite possibly only one very unsettling answer.
and it it is to this end i have come to a decision, a decision which implies that this one answer is, in fact, much bigger than me and much bigger than you - therefore leaving me to conclude that it requires us.
thus i cannot stand alone any longer, i must reach out and enlist more power, more human prayer power that is - because, as naive as it sounds, i do not believe this one answer is bigger than God - and i am utterly convinced that: God + us = the whole answer - and so begins a new journey, the journey of the traveling prayer journal.
and as for the movie...
Monday, December 14, 2009
i am now free
free to stand
stand in the victory
the victory that has already been won
"put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."
i now recognize that i need only to
hold my ground
ground that comes with a promise
a promise from the conqueror
the conqueror of all that is unseen.
"faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen"
Friday, December 4, 2009
it was almost a year ago when i first saw him. we were in our living room singing worship and praying. and the vision, though hard to describe, was clear...
"he may be an angel, i mean he didn't look like an angel, not that i know what all angels look like, i mean, well he he looked more like the green giant or that mr. clean guy" i heard myself saying. "you know really big with that stern stance, straddling my home like it was one of those little monopoly houses." this wasn't easy.
but, she got it, she totally got it or at least i thought she did, then she asked, "is he facing east or west?"
well this one i was sure of, "he is facing east".
"hmm... facing east... like from washington dc" she said offhandedly... and then there was silence.
"he is a protector, he is there to lift up your house when khomeini comes through." was all she said. i heard it, but what did it mean? khomeini, who's khomeini? lift up my house?
"that's all i know" she was done and i had so many questions.
a month or so later
"hello" she answered the phone.
"i have another one" was all i said.
i heard a chuckle as she replied, "he's much shorter?"
i was taken back "how did you know?"
she laughed, "i don't really, what's this one doing?"
"he is short, yet hulkish with his arms stretched wide open across the length of my front yard fence and he is facing the east as well."
"girl! what are you into?! what are you doing that you need so much protection?" she exclaimed half question, yet half statement.
it was a question that i only had half of an answer to.
it was a statement that i would have to process and gather more data to truly understand
it was a foreshadowing of the next chapter in the book of my life.
...void of life, yet eerily full of something.
chills run up my spine...
if there is nothing tangible in this place,
what is that presence?
it is the constant.
a constant with no true identity of it's own apart from the variable.
this very thought is transforming.
for years, in my mind, i have witnessed this truth in reverse.
i forced that variable into a box,
a box created for the sole purpose of holding it hostage.
was it self destructive?
quite possibly so...
but, i now know the truth
and the truth sets me free!
free to understand that life is measured by the variable.
free to see
the light that brightens the darkness.
and to feel
the heat that warms the cold.
free to be enveloped by the substance of His love.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
i was in the ladies room, checking my makeup in the mirror when i clearly heard the question; "will you do warfare for him?" "heck yeah" i answered without a second of hesitation. and with that the warrior at my right prepared to draw his sword - it was surreal - what was i thinking, i don't do warfare...it's just not my thing, i mean... not that i have "a thing"... and that's when i noticed them - yes, they were new! three new hosts to my left... is the one in the middle a cloaker?
"he's a keeper" she said - "you know like a keeper of secrets, like the secrets of life" i have no idea what she is talking about -"ok" she continues "God knew us before we were formed in our mothers womb, so that means He creates that thing that makes us...well, us somewhere else. and that somewhere else holds the secrets to life. and in this physical life there are those that still hold these secrets and they keep them until it is the right place and time to disclose them. oh and another thing, these keepers are very powerful warriors."
powerful warriors, then why would he need me? considering warfare isn't one of my fortes to begin with...once again, hmm...
as for the revelation i received in the shower yesterday - as i prayed for her, i also prayed for her husband only to hear that they were 'keepers' also - now i know this could not be true, i know that only she is a 'keeper' and not her husband as well - so... i question it, only to hear "they are one" and to my amazement i saw a glimpse of how God sees married couples - to Him they really are one! it's as simple and yet as complicated as just that! maybe that's why opposites attract? i don't know. hmm...
but i do know that there are two keepers and they are both jewish, is there a correlation - i'm just not sure... i think that i would like to make a documentary on the 'the global plight of jewish people today'. and i also believe that if christianity is really a 'body' then it is missing it's heart and strength by not incorporating the messianic jews.
so much to ponder... and so much more to come...
Friday, August 21, 2009
went to the movies yesterday in the usual pitcher fashion; go early, pay one matinee price and spend the night movie hopping. are we criminals or are we just cheap? well since we end up spending a fortune at the concession counter, i'm pretty sure we're not cheap. so maybe we are closet criminals because when the theater's manager entered into that second movie with his flashlight and clipboard and started counting heads, it made our night just a little more thrilling.
anyway, i've digressed, what i wanted to blog about were the movies that i watched last night:
the first and only legitimate movie that i actually paid to see was "the proposal" with sandra bullock and ryan reynolds. what I like about this movie is that "it is what it is", it's a romantic comedy and it makes no apologies for it. this is the kind of movie that we like to see sandra bullock in, although in this one, i believe ryan reynolds stole the show. he was perfect in this role, watching his character's metamorphosis was a thing of beauty. do anyone of us think that this entire story line could have happened in one weekend? that an ice queen defrosts that easily? or even that the story itself is plausible? the answer is no. but, we had some good belly laughs, were entertained for a couple of hours and walked away just feeling good and that's all we want from a romantic comedy. on a side note, the gratuitous nude scene was not really necessary.
the second and maybe the most thrilling (only because we thought we might have been caught) movie of the night was "time travelers wife" with rachel mcadams and eric bana. i give this movie a solid: ok. rachel mcadams did a great job with what she had to work with. i think the casting of eric bana was weak. i never really felt invested in this movie because i never really felt invested in him as the lead. with so many really good, dark, brooding, tormented actors out there i felt a little robbed with eric bana. the storyline itself seemed somewhat underdeveloped as well. i was left not completely understanding the "traveling" aspect of the movie. was his traveling limited to the circumference of his own life or did he travel outside of that, etc. on a side note the scenes of him appearing nude to a child in the meadow were initially awkward at best.
the third and final movie of the night was the 10:20pm showing of julie and julia. this one was a bit scary for us because we were the only people in the theater until right before the movie started when a young couple joined us for the showing. (we were pretty sure they hadn't paid to see the movie either). this was my favorite of the night. it is very hard to be critical of a movie that focuses on something so near and dear to my heart; food. i love meryl streep and i absolutely adore amy adams, so where do i go from there. meryl was superb as usual although her physical limitations were, in fact, the elephant in the room. julia childs was burly, she was 6'2" and did not ever have to wear five inch heels to prove it. the marital relationships in this story were endearing, both of these wives have supportive husbands that any woman would want. the story line is easy to follow and in this day of the food network frenzy, it brings to light one of the forgotten american cooking icons. although the ending was abrupt and the unresolved slam of julia child against julie the blogger left the icon appearing in a somewhat jaded light, this movie in the end is all about two very strong women, their relationships and their love of food and all i have to say to that is bon appetit!
total count for the night
2 blatant crouch shots
4 direct republican slams
oh hollywood you're so transparent!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
the four choices offered just don't seem enough,
in procedure, out of procedure, in recovery, out of recovery
especially since we have been stuck on the first one so long, after all it has been two hours, i was under the impression this was a simple procedure.
this whole weekend has been surreal. having to say goodbye to jojo. he will definitely be missed. all i can do trust God and know deep down in my heart that He absolutely loves that horse more than i do. after all He did bring jojo to me by divine appointment. and now God has another empty place for jojo to fill somewhere else, i am sure of it!
i love you jojo and i know you will bring joy where ever God takes you!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Their faces looked like this: Each of the four had the face of a man, and on the right side each had the face of a lion, and on the left the face of an ox; each also had the face of an eagle. Such were their faces. Their wings were spread out upward; each had two wings, one touching the wing of another creature on either side, and two wings covering its body. Each one went straight ahead. Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, without turning as they went. The appearance of the living creatures was like burning coals of fire or like torches. Fire moved back and forth among the creatures; it was bright, and lightning flashed out of it. The creatures sped back and forth like flashes of lightning.
As I looked at the living creatures, I saw a wheel on the ground beside each creature with its four faces. This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like chrysolite, and all four looked alike. Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel. As they moved, they would go in any one of the four directions the creatures faced; the wheels did not turn about as the creatures went. Their rims were high and awesome, and all four rims were full of eyes all around.
When the living creatures moved, the wheels beside them moved; and when the living creatures rose from the ground, the wheels also rose. Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, and the wheels would rise along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. When the creatures moved, they also moved; when the creatures stood still, they also stood still; and when the creatures rose from the ground, the wheels rose along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.
Spread out above the heads of the living creatures was what looked like an expanse, sparkling like ice, and awesome. Under the expanse their wings were stretched out one toward the other, and each had two wings covering its body. When the creatures moved, I heard the sound of their wings, like the roar of rushing waters, like the voice of the Almighty, like the tumult of an army. When they stood still, they lowered their wings. ezekiel 1
we have pets...
God has creatures...
these creatures are called cherubim...
they are far beyond sparky on steroids... if sparky is not there, i am not sure we will miss him...
heaven must be sweet!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
are we, the believers so complacent that we evoke no true threat to the american government, much less any small part of american society?
the emphasis behind the statement eludes itself to just that thought process.
if God is good, then shouldn't we as christians despise evil and make it our mission to continually and ostentatiously sound the alarms when any form of evil exists?
or are our own "christian" lives so steeped with evil that we find ourselves paralyzed to differentiate, much less take any profound action against it?
let's press on and for the sake of this argument say our christian lives are as pure and Christlike as humanly possible - then what are we to do?
Jesus said that His sheep hear His voice- if you are a believer and are not hearing the voice of God, THEN GOD IS OF NO ETERNAL GOOD TO YOU!
pondering that very imagery may be the encouragement american christianity needs to awaken and stir the Spirit within them to consummate and birth a fresh and wondrous relationship with the Almighty - one that inspires Him to open their ears to the sound of His voice
it is only then that christians will be blessed with the distinction of profoundly shaking up not only this country but the entire world for the sake of the gospel
Friday, May 1, 2009
deviant n. One that differs from a norm, especially a person whose behavior and attitudes differ from accepted social standards
so if you are a deviant and if your deviant behavior endangers others, where is your place in society? and does it matter if you consciously choose to deviate or the disabilities dealt you at birth do not allow you these common functions that are considered "the norm"? what shall be done with you? after all the mental poking and prodding concludes, the jury will be in, the verdict will be read and society will have made their decisions for your life... then the rest of us will have to find our place in their choice.
when faced with these situations, the grace of God is the only thing one can truly count on. if He has said, "help is coming" and "goodness will come from this" then it is true. God will not be made a liar! although in cases such as these, perception may truly be key. human's perception of "help" and "goodness" does not easily align with God' s perception. while mankind is looking for the quick fix, God tends to be patiently deciding the long term. it was that realization coupled with the knowledge that two monks were flying in from france to attend "glory and fire" that allowed me a glimpse of revelation into something that was given to me months ago... something that at the time i did not quite understand - let me attempt to explain...
just last year there was a fervent pastor who prayed daily with his congregation for over one hundred days, it was an amazing time. this pastor prayed for things that most pastors don't - he asked for God's glory, the fire and gifts of the Spirit, signs and wonders and the request i loved most, the continual prayer that God would send a "peculiar people"... as it turns out the corporate powers that be at that particular facility did not have the same desires and the pastor was sent away... and so i asked "what is to come of this" and heard simply, "it has already been put into motion, it will happen"... i was confused - yes, i understood that the requests were going to come to pass, but the question was, "where?" was this exiled pastor to pack up his prayers and take them with him or were they to stay at the facility at which and for which they were uttered?
the answer should have been obvious. but, to me, it was not... not until the curious appearance of the french monks... what was this "glory and fire" teaching that monks would fly from france? i had to know - so, my love affair with search engines was kindled and i found an answer, maybe not the answer to that particular question - but a long awaited answer none the less - it appeared there is a local congregation of, and i believe i am biblically correct in saying, "peculiar" people, this congregation was sponsoring a "glory and fire" weekend. now, because they do not have a facility of their own they are using the very same one that the fervent pastor had spent days and months petitioning on behalf of... now isn't that peculiar indeed?
it seems prayers are not always answered the way we think they should be and for that we should be grateful - we should also continue to pray as if our lives and the lives of others depend on it - because in some odd way they do!
...the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much
james 5:16 kjv
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
i've been praying for him all week, this house could literally be the death of him. i grab the anointing oil and throw it in my purse on the way out the door to the open house. desperate times call for desperate measures and this can't hurt! - i spend the first 20 minutes going through the house, room by room, blessing and praying while anointing windows and door jams - as i work my way through the house i notice a black crow outside walking the perimeter with me, watching me - i'm convinced there's something symbolic about it - but i don't have the time or the energy to figure it out because i am dancing. yes, you heard that right, i'm pretty sure i'm doing some reasonable facsimile of an ancient hebrew dance?
sunday night my husband points out that in the majority of bible translations Job 1:7 reads something to the effect; satan has come from "roaming THROUGH the earth and going back and forth IN it" - did you catch that? in and through, not ON! - i'm elated and think "i should call my friend." - some how in my mind this validates the epiphany i had while driving through fallbrook last month that "the earth is infinite at it's core" - she'll make sense of it!
i keep seeing glimpses out of the corner of my eye - they are whizzing by - i turn to look and catch a blur of a colorful horizontally stripped t-shirt - do celestrials wear clothing? - my friend will know - i have to give her a call - she'll be happy because this sighting lends itself to her theory - over the last few weeks we have been debating the means by which celestrials travel - i believed (notice i use past tense) they move freely about though the dimensions while she argues they use "portholes" at set places and times - she is also convinced that these occurrences may be askew right now because of the abundance of satellite usage, analog waves, etc. -
today i also see a handful of new angels "hovering" in the right front corner of my front yard - no signs of weapons, armor or warfare - i wonder what they are for - i'll ask my friend about that - i should call her - i try a couple of times to reach her to no avail -
monday night - i wonder why she hasn't called me back?
i have a ton of work to do at the office, but i don't want to leave my house for the second day in a row - why, i wonder, do i just want to be at home - "for protection" is the answer - now that's something i should ponder...
why hasn't my friend called me back, it's unlike her, i'll call her again - she answers the phone, i hear "are you sitting down" and i laugh, then she says "no, really are you sitting down" - so i sit - it's a good thing because i become paralyzed, this can not be real, i'm dreaming, this conversation is not happening, is my friend really saying what i am hearing? - her life has literally been ripped from the headlines - her family devastated - i am devastated - she is so strong and so relatively calm - i'm jello, i have to force myself to believe it and mentally sort through all of the ramifications that go with it. devastation is really the only word that fits - i live in a daze for hours - hours turn into a day
the healing room offers a little bit of comfort - but really there's no comfort to be found in situations like this
i talk to God, i yell at God - he is calm - "help is coming", somehow goodness will come from this event? no assurances are good enough - i call my friend - there is a ever so slight glimmer of hope - she is holding onto God's promises - she is so strong and i am so proud of her - even as my heart breaks for her, i am so proud...
the guest speaker at my writing session has spent the last hour telling us not to be "cliche" - i get it - when class is over they anoint and pray over us - the prophet says that over me he sees "cliche" - i can tell he finds it ironic by the tiny chuckle that comes as he continues - there is something about seeing a flower blooming and even though there will be the use of cliches, there are affirmations that they will somehow be different...they will have new life and new meaning - they will have a twist - the best quote of the night however had come earlier from the teacher, he said, "YOUR perspective is the one that nobody else has!" somehow it all ties together and comforts me, i will press on.
that's it for today, i'm tired and i need sleep -but i know tomorrow will bring new hope!
Friday, April 24, 2009
but, she's the best artist in my world and that's really all that counts!
go to her blogs and check her out
what are you waiting for? go now!!!
don't make me tell you again *snap
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
the first 1/2 hr was spent teaching us the formula on writing commercials, whether for tv or radio - then BAM! we were given an assignment - yes, you heard that right, an ASSIGNMENT! - we had ten minutes to write a thirty second spot!
i did what any other incompetent person that was out of their league would do, i asked where the restroom was and there i hid for five minutes - when the teacher came around to pick up the papers i just looked at him and shrugged - i'm pretty sure that was a look of impression he shot back at me... or maybe not
but, the good news is that i don't ever plan on going into advertising and/or marketing, there for my commercial writing skills will never be needed
so in 'dolly's corner' the cup is still half full!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
2girls4girls / pitcher&eichi
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
a. a drunk guy accuse me of raising his taxes
b. a woman threaten to call the park manager and have me kicked out
c. a woman telling me I should never come to her door and then stalk me for about 10 minutes
d. 3 males answer the door in their underwear
e. one lady tell me if I was from a.c.o.r.n. she would refuse to talk to me
f. 4 people ask me if I like my job and how can they get hired
Needless to say it's a very interesting job!
Friday, April 3, 2009
As I stood there in that second it all seemed surreal and I knew that I was right where God wanted me to be. Then I looked up to see my husband with a little smile on his face, he put his arm around me, winked and said "Wow, you're kind of a big deal, huh?" and we both began to laugh as we finished our shopping.
If you are looking for a ministry opportunity, The Good News Club is an after school program that teaches elementary kids about God and the Bible, get plugged in and volunteer!